Paul Is Dead: Irrefutable Proof That People Will Believe… Pretty Much Whatever They Want

I enjoy a good conspiracy theory. I love hearing about people who, for no apparent reason, decide something is true, and then, for some other reason, decide they will spend the rest of their life proving something true… even when there is zero actual evidence to show their absurd theories are true.

This is where the best conspiracy theory ever began… sort of…

To be a conspiracy theorist, you must have some serious creativity, and some even more serious outside the box thinking… Of course, to assume your conspiracy is true… well… you’re pretty far outside the box already. Continue reading

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YOU WON’T BELIEVE HOW MUCH HYPERBOLE I’LL USE JUST TO GET YOU TO READ THIS POST!

So I’m making a new resolution as of today. The resolution is never to ever read any post or article that has a title that goes something like this: THIS IS THE CUTEST THING YOU’LL EVER SEE! or, YOU WON’T BELIEVE WHO THESE CARTOON CHARACTERS ARE BASED ON!

This guy knows what I’m talking about!

Why have I made this new resolution? because 100% of the time, these posts/articles are LIES! EVERY LAST ONE OF THEM! Sure, I occasionally read one where I say, “yeah, that’s pretty cute.” or “Oh, that’s kind of interesting, I didn’t know that,” or even, on rare occasions, “Oh, I wouldn’t have thought that about so and so.” But never once have I though “OMG THIS IS LITERALLY THE CUTEST THINK I’VE EVER SEEN!!!! THEY WERE SO AMAZINGLY RIGHT! I’M SO GLAD I CLICKED ON THIS LINK!” or “OMG, THIS IS THE MOST AMAZING AND UNBELIEVABLE FACT I’VE EVER LEARNED! I CAN’T EVEN RIGHT NOW!” Continue reading

To the Self-Proclaimed Facebook Police: Just stop

You know what’s really annoying? Blog posts complaining about things people post on Facebook. They just drive me nuts!

… *Whispers* “Does he know that statement is going to make this entire post very ironic?”

People’s posts on Facebook can get pretty annoying, I have to admit. It drives me crazy to have friends who post everything in their life, or pictures of food, or overly cryptic comments, or repost every last thing they come across so people will like them more often (This isn’t Pinterest, People!!!!) And I’ve complained as much as anyone about any of the above posts…

And because I don't like it, you shouldn't be allowed to post it!

And because I don’t like it, you shouldn’t be allowed to post it!

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The Closet Cowboys Fan: “Is it Safe to Come Out?”

I know I don’t talk much about sports. A big reason for that is that there is so much sports media out there, and there’s really nothing to say that isn’t beat down by sports TV analysts and sports bloggers all over the place.

The stars have been dim in Dallas in recent years...

Please let this feeling be real… oh, just let it be real! Oh, please oh please oh please football god!

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Trying (and Failing) to Have Something to Be Mad About

Today I told myself, “Sir! You are going to write a blog post! And you are going to get angry! It doesn’t matter what the subject of the post is! You’re going to be mad about it!”

Now, I know that is a little absurd, but the other day I actually had something that I wanted to write an angry rant about… but I didn’t get online that day… and I forgot what that post was about… but I was left with a sense that “I need to rant about something, because that’s what I would’ve done the other day… What was it that I wanted to rant about!?”

I was sure I could come up with it. I mean, there are global/international crises like Ebola constantly worrying people, along with terrorists, and there are inept politicians who can’t seem to do anything about… anything. There are local issues where I live. There are stupid people at work who say and do things that are certainly worthy of a rant… I could talk about any of those things… I’m sure whatever I was “ranty” about is somewhere in that list…

but I couldn’t remember… not even a little bit…

I mean... seriously though...

I mean… seriously though…

because you know what? Life is good. Yes, there are terrorists and terrible people out there. Yes, there are government types that seem to be awful at their jobs. Yes, there are diseases and issues that we can’t control. But you know what? Life is good! And today, for all I’ve tried to find something to be mad about, I just can’t do it! I have good people in my life! I have a job I love, and while it doesn’t pay a ton, it pays enough (barely). and while there are a few stupid people at work, I still very much enjoy the people I work with. I enjoy going to work in the morning. and though I’m not old, it still feels like I’ve had years and years where that wasn’t the case.

... Nope. I'm not even mad about that. In fact...  I liked the ending to "Lost" in a weird way...

… Nope. I’m not even mad about that. In fact… I liked the ending to “Lost” in a weird way…

I also enjoy coming home at night to a family after a satisfying day at work. I have a good home and a good family. Almost every day is a good day. Life isn’t perfect, and maybe tomorrow I’ll figure out what in the world it was I wanted to complain about and get fired up for! But for today… I just can’t do  it. It’s Saturday. And I’m in a good mood…

Maybe that’s the reason I can’t get mad… I got to sleep in this morning…. either way… today, life is way too good to be mad!

Peter Jackson is the New George Lucas… and I Can’t Stand it!

So the other day I’m walking through the store, and I see, right there, in the movie section, the extended edition of “The Hobbit: an Unexpected journey” and I pretty much lost my mind…

but let me back up…. I’m a huge Lord of the Rings fan. I loved the movies. The first time I saw “The Fellowship of the Ring” I was blown away. It was easily the fastest 3 hours of my life. I went to see all the movies multiple times in theaters, and while none of my experiences watching the LOTR movies ever matched that first time in theaters, I still loved the way they were made. I made sure to read the books before “The Two Towers” was released, so I could join all the super-nerds in assessing the differences between the books and the movies and act like I knew about this stuff before the movies came out. Needless to say I was swept up in the LOTR craze. And I loved it!

yes... Just like this!

yes… Just like this!

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Why It’s Getting Hard to Maintain Faith In People

I like most people I meet. I instantly trust most people I meet. And I genuinely assume the best of most people I meet. So on the rare occasion when people let me down, it’s pretty disappointing. But I’ve always thought people were worthy of my high expectations, and honestly, I think most of my friends and family have done better than my expectations, which is probably why I give people so much credit.

But lately, in the wake of a new scandal, people have really let me down. not just letting me down a bit, but letting me down a freakin’ lot. And I really find myself frustrated. So frustrated that I have to stray from my usual lighthearted posts and rant about it.  Continue reading

My Terrifying Imagination is More Frightening Than Yours: Part III: The Dark

Over two blog posts I’ve described how, while others’ imaginations bring light and vivid color to their lives and the world, mine is good for nothing but scaring the buhjeezus out of myself. We’ve already talked about scary movies and things that freeze my blood and make me immobile to the terrorizing (Imaginary) forces around me. But today, we’re going to get to the source of my deepest, most awful fears: The dark…

Even Block Man is scary in the dark...

Even Block Man is scary in the dark…

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